My journey to joining staff with Cru

I've changed a lot in the last two and half years. I mean I have radically changed! Since I have been at Sac State, my relationship with God has grown at a faster rate than it ever has in my entire life. God has shaken me and broken me in order to mold me and send me. I came to Sac State wanting to be a high school math teacher, and now I am graduating, in three weeks, with an English degree and joining staff with Cru, in order to do full time ministry and missions. Here's my journey to making this decision:

I was so blessed for God to have chosen me to be His child since I was six years old, and my relationship with Him has constantly been growing since that day when my child self made the most important decision of my life. When I was in high school, I felt like God was asking me to be a missionary, but I refused to listen. I wanted a comfortable life, but in reality, my heart cried out to obey this command from my Father. I tried to distract myself by justifying how I could use teaching and coaching to share the gospel with high schoolers. I was going to live a comfortable life but still share Jesus' love. Couldn't that be enough? 

I am not sure how I justified the desires I constantly had, such as: I always wanted to go to seminary but decided I could never do that because I never wanted to be a pastor and I always wanted to marry a missionary or even a pastor so that way I could participate in full time missions and/or ministry. For some reason I thought I needed to marry someone in missions or ministry in order to do it myself, but that was clearly wrong because God was calling me to the mission field with or without a husband. 

I eventually learned to ignore God's urging and decided to follow my own plans of going into teaching and justifying how this would also please God. I got into a serious relationship with a man who was going into the work force, and it seemed like my life would never go in the direction of missions/ministry. I was content with this because I was going to marry a Godly man and have a comfortable life, while also telling teenagers about God whenever I got the chance. While this may be the calling for many, this was not what God had planned for me, and He let me know in Big ways. 

The spring of my sophomore year in college (2011), God started intensely pursuing me. It was like He was screaming at me, and it was so loud that I couldn't possibly ignore Him. I started trying to hear His voice and praying for Him to break me so He could shape me. After that prayer, I did something I never thought I would do, I broke up with the man I was going to marry and essentially with all the plans I had for my life, since everything I had planned revolved around this man instead of around God. At this point, I was completely broken and exactly the way I needed to be for God to

swoop in and change me completely. 

In the fall of my Junior year (2011), I started my journey at Sac State. A few weeks into the semester, I started attending Cru weekly meetings and events. When I walked into my first weekly meeting, something felt so right. I continued checking it out, and I fell in love with the community. I started getting more involved and going to a weekly Bible study and then the woman intern leading that study started discipling me. (She had no idea I had been praying for that for over two years) She taught me how to share my faith not just in the natural mode or the body mode but by being intentional and sharing the gospel with people I had never met before. I thought this was strange at first, but I knew it was right. Cru was taking me out of my comfort zone and teaching me to be more vulnerable and training me how to share the Gospel. As a result, my relationship with God started growing stronger and at a faster rate than I had ever experienced. 

That same semester, I went to a Cru conference designed for juniors and seniors. At that conference, God started showing me that this is what He had planned for my life. I got excited about the idea of interning or stinting (1 year mission trip) with Cru after I graduated. I continued praying about this for the next 5 months and then went on a vision trip with Cru to Buenos Aires, Argentina in the spring of my junior year (2012). On this trip, I realized I needed to start praying about joining staff with Cru (making a long term decision), because I clearly felt this was the path that God had intended for me. 

I prayed for the next 6 months about joining staff with Cru. I went through times where I decided it wasn't for me, but God always pulled me back. In October of my senior year (2012), I made the decision to obey my Heavenly Father, and I decided that I would apply to join staff with Cru after I graduated. 

I was blessed to be able to go on a summer project with Cru the summer after my senior year, since I still needed four more classes to graduate. During this project, I again fully surrendered my plans of joining staff with Cru, but God clearly pointed me straight back to following through with my decision. He also challenged me to not get too comfortable in the United States because  He wants me to take the Gospel to the nations. 

When I came back to Sac State for my final semester, I applied to join staff in January 2014. It was a long and humbling process, and God used it in incredible ways to grow my faith in Him. 

A year after I made the decision to trust God and pursue a life of full time ministry/missions, I was accepted to join staff with Cru. 

God seriously amazes me. He knows what will happen and has the best plans for our lives. He called me into vocational ministry when I was in high school, but I ignored Him and tried to do things my own way. But God graciously worked in my life to point me back to the path He always had planned for my life. 

I am so excited about getting to work full time with college students and tell them about the amazing love of Jesus Christ. I can't wait to see where Jesus takes me. I'm done with a comfortable life, and I hope to do overseas missions for a good chunk of my life. God has a plan, and I'm going to do my best to listen and obey. 

My ENTIRE Life is Yours

   This summer God has shown up in big ways. He has transformed my life. I prayed that He would humble me this summer and teach me what He wanted me to learn, and HE DID!! If you know me well, you know that I rarely cry, but this summer, I have cried often. I realized that when it comes to Jesus, tears easily flow from my eyes because I am so in awe of my desperate need for a Savior and my heart has become truly broken for anyone and everyone who doesn't know Him as their personal Lord and Savior.

   There is so much that God has taught me this summer, but perhaps the biggest thing is being willing to follow Him ANYWHERE! Am I really willing to give up ALL my desires For The Sake Of His Name? Am I willing to go where He sends me? Am I willing to leave my family, my dog, my friends, my comfort, and my deep desire for a husband and family? Am I willing to be tortured or even killed For The Sake Of His Name? Am I willing to obey His call on my life? WILL I GO?!

    I think I have always wanted to say YES to these questions, but I couldn't fully do that until this summer. Before this summer, I was scared of death. I didn't desire my Savior enough! I was living for Christ but scared to meet Him! I asked God to help me defeat this fear, and He did. I now long to see my Savior more than I long for life! I can now think about death and not have mini panic attacks. Now I can honestly say YES I WILL DIE FOR MY SAVIOR because that means I get to see Him face to face! I can't wait to see Him! I can't wait to fall to the ground in complete surrender and worship of my AMAZING Heavenly Father!

     Before this summer, I wanted to say yes I will go where God calls me, but I couldn't stand the thought of leaving for long term over seas missions because that would mean that I would miss my grandpa's last years on this earth, have to give up my dog who I love more than I should, and I would have to give up my longing and deep desire for a husband and family. As much as I wanted to give God all of these things, I was still too attached to this world. I had lost my eternal perspective. The reality is that there is a war going on right now; a war for people's souls. God will be victorious, but I need to fight! Isn't God worth me being single? Isn't God worth me giving up my dog? Isn't he worth me leaving my family in order to help bring more people into His family? Isn't He worth it?! Doesn't Jesus command us to "Leave the dead to bury their own dead. But as for you, go and proclaim the Kingdom of God." (Luke 9:60)? Everything I have in this life is not my own. Everything belongs to God! The reason I can breath is because of Him alone! So I HAVE DECIDED to give Him my ENTIRE life! Even if it means me being single! Even if it means me leaving a life of comfort! Even if it means me being tortured and persecuted! Even if it means my death! GOD IS WORTH IT!

    So now here I sit, completely willing to GO WHEREVER my Father may send me. Yes, I still am a little scared, but I trust God more than life itself. He is my Abba, and I love Him more than I love anything or anyone else. I can't imagine life apart from Him. He is my life, and I WILL GO!

    Here's the thing, this isn't the Laura story; it's the God story!!

    God has used the song Oceans by Hillsong United to drastically change my life this summer. While worshipping during this song, I experienced a deep surrender that will forever change my life. Please listen to it and let the lyrics be the prayer of your heart:

    This video is a Spoken Word that deeply impacted my life this summer, and I encourage everyone to watch it:

God's Calling On My Life

  God has clearly called me into full time ministry and missions. If you asked me where I see myself in ten years, I would tell you that I see myself being a missionary in another country. I would love to say which country or even that I would be married and have a family but those are unknowns and a family is not promised. I know God has called me to go, and I can see myself going anywhere. Something I've been processing and praying about is when am I called to go. I don't know if I am called to go this next year when I graduate or if I am suppose to wait and then go. I've been planning on staying in the United States for the next few years, but are my reasons behind that selfish or is God asking me to stay before I go? Am I willing to give up my entire life and all of my comforts to bring the gospel to the world? And am I willing to be tortured or even killed for Jesus? I hope and pray I am. One thing I know for sure is that God's will will be done, and I can't wait to do His work for my entire life. 

My Heart

    I haven't updated my blog in a while and a lot has happened since my last update. Project is insanely busy, amazing, and fun. I can't wait to share about the fun parts of project and general updates, but in this post, I'm going to share my heart. 

 

   I didn't really know what God was going to teach me coming into summer project. I trusted that He had plans to grow me, but besides that, I was at a loss for exactly how He would do that. I just kept praying for God to change me and to completely humble me. I can tell you that my heart a little over a month into project is completely different than it was when project started. My heart has been completely broken for the lost. I now have a deep passion to share the gospel with everyone and a clear vision of how broken our world is. Everyone has a story with hurts and hard times, and they need someone to share who Jesus is with them. Before project I thought of sharing Jesus with others (strangers) as a hard thing to do and not my favorite form of ministry, but I was still willing to do it, but now I can't wait to go out and share Jesus with everyone. I seriously get so excited to go out sharing, and I think it may be turning into my favorite mode of evangelism. 

   Before project, I knew I struggled with pride and performance. I hated how self centered I was, and this sin issue has been something I've been attacking while on project. I want to be free of it, and God is definitely at work in my heart, helping me to become more like Him. This last week we talked about pride and performance in our action groups (bible study), and it hit home with me. On Thursday, I also talked about the sin of idolatry with a woman on staff and less than an hour later my discipler went over an article with me that focused on idolatry being the heart of all sins. I came to realize that I do idolize things and those things take away from God. It was a humbling realization, and I am so glad that I can now tackle those issues and ask the Holy Spirit to continue helping me become more like Him and less like my sin nature. 

   After this past week of being truly humbled by how sinful I am, I had a really hard morning. I don't like to cry and especially not in front of others, but this morning I was barely holding my tears in. I made it to church, but then the water works started. I knew God was at work in my heart, and I was literally breaking. There was a lot going on, but God was really talking to me. The worship songs continued to talk about His forgiveness and love for me by dying on the cross. I've heard it my whole life, but Jesus' radical love for me by dying for my sins will never cease to amaze me. During worship I looked up through my tears at one of the stained glass windows in the church, and it displayed Jesus holding a sheep and one standing right next to Him. I realized in that moment I was the sheep Jesus was holding. I was broken, but while I healed, Jesus was holding me close to His heart. That's the amazing thing about Jesus, He will never let me go! This morning I prayed that God would send someone to comfort me or encourage me, and sure enough right after church I received a text from my best friend saying she was thinking about me and praying for me and that she had a verse placed on her heart that she wanted to share with me: 

Psalm 5:11-12

"But let all who take refuge in you be glad; let them ever sing for joy.

Spread your protection over them, that those who love your name may rejoice in you. Surely, Lord, you bless the righteous; you surround them with your favor as with a shield."

It was like God was directly talking to me and affirming that He loves me and has good plans for me. 

This past week God brought me to the point of complete brokenness. This morning I was a mess, but God also is comforting me while He changes me. He is humbling me and making me into who He wants me to be. I am completely broken but so excited to see what He does this summer through that brokenness. My life is not my own; it's ALL His. 

Welcome to Ocean City, NJ

   I am finally in Ocean City, NJ!! I arrived a week ago on Tuesday night, and it has been quite an adventure since. Currently only the semester students and staff are here so our project is definitely not complete. I can't wait for the quarter students to arrive! Right now we have a little over 70 students and 35 staff.  

   The first week was filled with training, introductions, sharing on the boardwalk, games, and job hunting. It was a long and very packed week but such a blessing. I believe around 8 to 10 people have accepted Christ to be their personal savior so far. God is definitely at work. 

   So what has God been teaching me? God has definitely been helping me understand that He is crazy about me and nothing I do can make Him love me any more or any less. It seems simple, and I have known this concept for a long time, but it has really been sinking in this last week. A verse from this last week that stuck out is Psalm 73:25b "There is nothing on earth that I desire besides you." This has been my prayer as I have started summer project. I want to LONG to see Jesus more than I want or desire anything or anyone else. I can definitely say that I am on the way to experiencing this. God is definitely at work in my heart, and I can't wait to want Him more than I want anything else. I can't wait for Him to daily become greater and for me to daily become less (John 3:30). 

Here is a glimpse of part of the boardwalk

This beach is literally 2 blocks from where I am staying. Such an amazing blessing.

The Ambassador Inn. I get to live here all summer.

I am so thankful to get to experience this summer with Aubrey!

I was incredibly blessed to get a job at Clancy's By the Sea on the very first day of project. I am a server , and I love it so far. The restaurant is less than 5 minutes from where I am staying and right on the boardwalk. I am looking at the beach in this picture.

OCSP13 here I come!!

It's finally time! I leave for Ocean City in 8 hours!! I can hardly believe it is already here! I am so excited to see what God does this summer! Thank you so much to everyone who helped make this a reality! God truly is amazing, and I can't wait to get to know Him more this summer!! 

I am so excited to go to Ocean City with my best friend, Aubrey!! I can't wait to grow with her and come back to Sac State in the fall even more excited to do ministry on our campus. 

I told some of you I would post my Ocean City address before I left, so here it is: 

1301 Central Ave. 

Ocean City, NJ 08226

I would love for any of you to send me encouragement throughout the summer. 

Here it goes!!!! Please keep me and everyone else in Ocean City in your prayers. 

Bye Bye Cru Girls House

This last year I was so incredibly blessed to be able to live in the Cru Girl's House. I will never forget this past year. God has grown me so much by allowing me to live with such beautiful, God-fearing women. There were 7 of us, and it was truly incredible. It is hard to put words to. I came out of living with these women a better person. They each poured into me, taught me, encouraged me, supported me, helped me, inspired me, and loved me. We weren't just 7 girls living with each other; we were a family. We loved hanging out with each other. We didn't fight. We pushed each other closer to God. We held each other accountable. We listened to each other. We cared for each other. We encouraged each other. We loved each other. If only I could put words to this last year.

All of us girls at the Root Beer Kegger in August

Beautiful Ladies

Sac State Cru Girl's House 2012-2013

Sac State Cru Guys and Girls Houses 2012-2013

We celebrated each of our birthdays from 12am to 11:59pm. 

Pumpkin time in our dining room

We loved having friends over to play fun games like Assassins. Such a fun night!

Our Christmas Card

Celebrating Christmas with each other

All of us but 1 at Winter Conference New Year's Dance

I am going to miss studying with everyone in the dining room

Aubrey looking super fine doing yard work

Definitely had a lot of baking going on

I will miss coming home to a constant community and friends I can tell anything to.

Elvira finally came around to liking Remi. It's a BIG DEAL!

Fun times during Melissa's Bday Party

Melissa's Bday

Car rides!

I will definitely miss hanging out on the roof

I will miss having a roommate who enjoys making you take silly old school photos.

I love these two girls

One of the biggest blessings from living in the Cru Girls House was getting to know Aubrey more and becoming best friends. I will miss living with her so much!

I seriously had the best year living with these 6 lovely ladies. God richly blessed me through the Cru Girls House. As sad as leaving the house is, I can't wait to see what God does through next year's Cru Girls House. 

8% left to raise!!

5 days until OCEAN CITY SUMMER PROJECT 2013!! Can you tell I am excited?!?! The staff are already there preparing, and I am so excited! God is amazing and faithful! I have $308 left to raise! I would love to be 100% supported before I leave for project, and I think God might make it happen! Please be praying for my summer in Ocean City and what God is going to do there! I can't wait to keep all of you updated throughout the entire summer!

While there is only 5 days left until OCSP13, I still have one more final and more paper. I hope I can be all done with school tomorrow at 2:45pm! I then have an incredibly busy weekend full of moving, cleaning, graduations, graduation parties, a wedding, family dinners, shopping, and packing. And after that busy weekend, I take off for Ocean City with my best friend Aubrey bright and early Tuesday morning. I literally cannot wait!

Please Grow Me

Ocean City is coming up incredibly fast. Only 8 more days! I am beyond excited! I seriously cannot wait to see what God does this summer in Ocean City, NJ! I have been preparing my heart for this summer by spending lots of time in the Word and in prayer. I am excited to see how much my relationship with God grows this summer and to experience my faith being stretched.

In the last few months, I have been praying about what God wants me to work on this summer. About a week ago, my friend Aubrey told one of our Cru staff members, Christina, that she wanted to fall in love with Jesus this summer. WHOA!! I was blown away by that powerful statement! It made me start thinking even more about what God wanted me to work on this summer. I started intensely praying about it, and God supplied an answer!

I am going to be extremely honest. I am scared of dying. I think a lot of people are. They are scared of the unknown, but we rarely talk about it. I hate that I am scared of death! I love Jesus with my whole heart, and I know He commands believers to not be scared of death. I have assurance in my faith, and the fact is that I know, to a certain extent, what awaits me after I die. I am tired of being scared of something I shouldn't be scared of. I am tired of thinking so much about me. I WANT TO LONG TO SEE MY SAVIOR!! I want to be pained by the fact that I have to wait to see my Lord face to face until I die. I want to passionately tell others about the assurance they can also have by asking Jesus to be in control of their lives! That is what I am going to work on this summer. I am going to work on falling more in love with Jesus, longing to see Him, understanding the importance to always share your faith, and to stop fearing death!! Because of Jesus, death has no hold on me!

God is continually working in my life, and I am so grateful. Currently, I am $400 away from being fully supported for Ocean City Summer Project 2013. If you can in any way help me reach my final goal. Please email me by clicking here or support me online by clicking here. If you would like to know more about what I am doing this summer and/or how you can help, please email me or call me. I would love to talk to you!! I leave in 8 days, and I am trusting that God will provide the funds. Praise the Lord for everyone who has already supported me and $3,350 that has already come in!!

Why OCSP13?

So here's the thing, last summer I had no idea I would be where I currently am today. What?!?! Yeah, it's true. Last summer I went to Germany for half the summer to spend time with my sister and her family. I absolutely loved it over there and was amazed at how much I loved living in another part of the world and loved learning about the culture. I already thought this would be true because I felt the exact same way during the vision trip to Buenos Aires, Argentina I got to be a part of last spring. Imagine me coming back from the summer, loving life, loving traveling, loving adventure, knowing God has called me to full time ministry/missions, and wondering where I should go the next summer for summer project with Cru. Of course I came back thinking INTERNATIONAL! It makes sense right? I could have a mini view of what living in another country as a missionary would look like. I came back from my summer pumped for my next summer abroad, but God had different plans.

Immediately after I got back from Germany, I started doing ministry on my campus (Sac State). It was amazing. My passion for the lost at Sac State was huge. I couldn't believe how much I was enjoying doing follow ups with several girls and launching the Bible study I was blessed to lead this year. I started seeing the huge need at Sac State, and I realized I needed to pray about where God wanted me to go for summer project. I started praying intently about it, and I felt like He was saying no about going international. I was so bummed! I seriously sat there saying "Seriously God! Why?" I didn't understand why I couldn't go; why I didn't feel a release to apply to go international. All I kept hearing was Him saying, "Laura look at the need here, I want you to learn to have a passion for the lost amongst your peers." OH! Dang that got to me. You see I do have a passion for the lost, and I have lived my life always having a personal ministry. But sometimes, we all need to be revamped.

I began to ask God where He would want me to go. Sometimes I am a little selfish, and I kept saying, "God where do you want me to go? I know you want me to stay stateside, but I really don't want to go to Santa Monica. I know my friends just had an amazing summer there, but for some reason, I just don't want to go there." I kept asking God where He wanted me to go, but I didn't hear anything. So I waited.

A little while later, I took my friend out for her birthday dinner, and I told her about how I was feeling called to go on a stateside summer project, but I didn't know where to go. I didn't feel called to go to Santa Monica. She very excitedly started suggesting Ocean City, NJ. Immediately I was all OH YEAH!!! I had heard about her Ocean City Summer Project experience the previous year, and I completely forgot about how excited I was when I had heard hers and the other students who went's stories. It was in this moment when everything became very clear. I was stoked about a stateside project, FINALLY! I wanted to go to Ocean City, NJ, and when I prayed about it, God did not say No. In fact, I believe this was and is exactly where He wanted me to go. I just had to wait for Him to show me where He wanted  me to go in His timing, not mine.

God has been proving to me that He did/does want me to go to Ocean City this summer. First off, I was accepted to OCSP13. Second, He is supplying the money to get me there. Third, He has already set up two job interviews for me when I get over there! I AM SO EXCITED!! All I have heard is how amazing summer projects are, and I can't wait to experience my very first one. I am praying for God to change me this summer and to break my heart for the lost. I am preparing myself every day by digging into His Word and praying for this coming summer, for everyone going on the project. I am praying for God to do big things, and I trust that He will. Please pray with me that God will change lives while the team I am going with and I are over there. Please pray for everyone to be able to raise the money needed to get us there. I/We serve an amazing God, who is always faithful. I can't wait to see what He does this summer to bring His name glory!!! HE>i. John3:30 "He must increase, but I must decrease." Please be praying that verse for me and the OCSP13 team this summer. God deserves all the glory.

Kingdom Vision

The last couple of weeks have been amazing. My health has been restored; my grandparent's "dog car" (nicknamed "the boat" by my friends) that I am currently driving hasn't given me any trouble; and school and work are finishing up. 

About a month ago, I started praying for God to somehow provide me with a car until I can financially afford one or for Him to provide me with the means for getting a safe, reliable car. One thing I have always been confident in is that God answers prayers, and He takes care of His children. God answered this prayer swiftly! I am so amazed and thankful! Without my knowledge, my dad found a car for me and bought it this last week. He and my brother will be working on it this summer while I am gone, and if all goes well, I should have a new car when I return from Ocean City! I am so incredibly thankful and excited to hopefully have a reliable car!

I am getting really excited about my summer. I find myself thinking and praying about it constantly. I just have a feeling that it is going to be the best summer of my life and that God is going to do some amazing things.

A couple of weeks ago, I was talking to one of my good friends who went to Ocean City Summer Project in 2011. She read me some parts of her journal from her summer, and it made me even more excited about going on project. Especially when she told me the stats from her project. They had 6,326 spiritual conversation, 3,096 Gospel presentations, and 394 people accepted Christ as their personal Savior!!! WOW!! (click here to read more about her summer in Ocean City) When I heard those numbers, I realized even more how much God uses this project and how excited I am to be used by Him. God has called those of us who profess to be His children to not stay quiet about our faith, and I can't wait to learn even more about how to live a life where I am constantly thinking about eternity rather than things of this world and sharing what I know to be true with others.

Last weekend I had so much fun. My friend Aubrey, who is going to Ocean City with me, and I went to Chico to meet the students from Chico State who are going to Ocean CIty this summer. We had a blast, and we got to see a glimpse of what God is doing at Chico State through Cru.

Aubrey and I left Chico on Saturday in order to get back to Sacramento in time for Cru at Sac State's Vision Dinner. The dinner celebrated Cru at Sac State's 45th anniversary. Bill Hansel, who started Cru at Sac State 45 years ago, was the main speaker. It was so awesome to hear him talk about the past and what God has been doing at Sac State for the past 45 years. There were also student testimonies as well as updates on what God has been doing through Cru at Sac State in this last year. On top of all that, I was so blessed to be able to talk to Cru at Sac State alumni from over 30 years ago. So many of them have incredible stories. One lady was led to Christ through Cru (Crusade) while she attended Sac State over 40 years ago, and after she graduated college, she joined staff with Crusade and did college ministry for 14 years. She is now in full time ministry through her church. How amazing is that!! It was definitely an amazing and inspiring night.

My mom and grandpa came to the Vision Dinner

The guy who helped start Cru at Sac State, Bill Hansel

Jon, me, James, and Sarah each shared what God is doing in our lives currently and how Cru at Sac State impacted our ministries.

After hearing about my friends experience in Ocean City, seeing God at work through Chico State's Cru, and hearing everything God has been doing through Cru at Sac State, I was so encouraged and excited about continuing with ministry through Cru. I can't wait for this summer in Ocean City, and I am so excited that God has called me to join staff with Cru after I graduate in December!

So where am I at in raising support for Ocean City? God has definitely been providing. I have raised approximately $2,861 of my $3,700 goal. I am trusting that God will provide the rest in His timing. I am so grateful for everyone who has partnered with me either financially or prayerfully. I can't wait to tell you all about what He does this summer. 22 more days!!

If you would like to partner with me financially/prayerfully, click here to give online or email me at laurathorpe@live.com for more information.

Never Ending Faithfulness

   These past few weeks have been challenging.  My second car of the year broke down. My dad fixed it. I got a flat tire. I got it fixed. My car broke down again, and broken down it remains. I also overworked myself to the point of getting my second sinus infection this school year. I finally healed from that and then got sick again with a stomach bug. These circumstances plus the busy life I am living this semester amounted to a fairly hard month, but while most would claim to have had a bad month, I have only seen God's faithfulness.


   I know God cares about me, and He shows me every day. Sometimes I forget to thank him, but He never forgets me and He never stops loving me.

My dad and I celebrating my birthday

   I think about how much my earthly dad cares about me, and I have come to learn how he expresses his love for me. My dad does small things for me and he takes care of me. I was raised to be independent so I am sure I don't make it easy for him to find ways to show he cares about me, but he has found his own ways. My dad goes out of his way to spend time with me. When I am feeling homesick, he drives down to where I live and takes me to dinner. He takes me to the movies, and he creates ways to hang out. He came to almost every one of my sports games in high school and college. He also comes to my rescue often with cars. He saves me when I am stuck on the side of the rode, he fixes my broken cars, he pays for the parts, and he fills up my gas tank whenever he can. My dad truly does care for me, and he shows it in his own way. I have not heard him say the words "I love you" to me since I was a little girl, but his actions show it. My dad is constant, and he is always there. He shows his love for me through the small things. 

My dad is in the background. He faithfully always came to my games.

 

   When I think about these qualities of my dad, it helps me understand how much my Heavenly Father loves me and cares about me. God has always been there for me. He was there in my childhood during hard times, He was there a couple of years ago when I was making some hard decisions, and He is here now molding me into who He wants me to become. He ALWAYS shows up, and He cares about the small details of my life as much as He cares about the bigger details. He is faithful!!

My grandparents and I at my high school graduation

   In the last month, God has been taking care of me. When I got a flat tire with no tools to fix it, God showed up. He gave me amazing grandparents who care about me more than I deserve. They hate my bad luck with cars and can't stand the thought of their granddaughter stuck on the side of the road in a city so they yearly buy me a AAA membership. I was able to call AAA for my tire, and God perfectly arranged for me to have a free day (I never have those) in order to go get my tire fixed.



   I ended up having a free day because I was sick with a sinus infection. Through my sickness, God reminded me yet again of how I need to take better care of my body, and I need to rest! He constantly placed the verse "He makes me lie down in green pastures. He leads me besides still waters. He restores my soul," (Psalm 23:2-3a) on my heart. God knew I needed to rest, and He reminded me of it when I was sick. Through my much needed rest, God was able to restore me.

My good ol' faithful Rodeo broke down and joined my deceased Mustang 

   God also showed up when my car broke down for the second time this month. I was on my way up to Cru's Women's Retreat with my friend, and on the way, we were going to pass through my hometown and stop by my dad's house. When we were driving up and almost to my dad's house, a light came on in my car. Immediately I knew that my car would not make it to women's retreat so I started praying that God would deliver us to my dad's house. I accepted that my car would break down, but I prayed that God would get us to my dad's before it did. And God delivered! He heard my prayer! My car completely broke down and became undrivable at the exact moment I pulled up to my dad's house! Praise God!!


   God not only showed himself in these harder times, but He constantly showed himself in other parts of my life. While all of this has been happening, God has been raising the money I need to go to Ocean City for the summer. I am now 12 days away from my next support goal and $300 away from reaching it. I still need to raise $1800 in order to reach my final goal, but I know God will provide. He is molding me this semester to become more like Him, and I trust that He has big plans for this summer.


   God is proving faithful to me and constantly showing up even in the small details!! God truly cares about me. I serve a FAITHFUL God, and I can't wait to do His work now, this summer, and for the rest of my life.


   I love these lyrics from "Faithful God" by Laura Story: "Faithful God, every promise kept, every need You've met, Faithful God. All I am and all I'll ever be is all because You love faithfully. Faithful God, Faithful God."

Here are some verses about God's Faithfulness:

Psalm 33:4 "For the word of the Lord is upright, and all his work is done in faithfulness."

Psalm 86:15 "Bu you, O Lord, are a God merciful and gracious, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love and faithfulness."

 Psalm 89:1 "I will sing of the steadfast love of the Lord, forever; with my mouth I will make known your faithfulness to all generations."

Psalm 108:4 "For your steadfast love is great above the heavens; your faithfulness reaches to the clouds."

Psalm 115:1 "Not to us, O Lord, not to us, but to your name give glory, for the sake of your steadfast love and your faithfulness."

2 Thessalonians 3:3 "But the Lord is faithful. He will establish you and guard you against the evil one."


These verses were shared with me and encourage me about this coming summer in Ocean City:

Proverbs 16:1-3 "The plans of the heart belong to man, but the answer of the tongue is from the Lord. All the ways of a man are pure in his own eyes, but the Lord weighs the spirit. Commit your work to the Lord, and your plans will be established."

2 Thessalonians 1:11-12 "To this end we always pray for you, that our God may make you worthy of his calling and may fulfill every resolve for good and every work of faith by his power, so that the name of our Lord Jesus may be glorified in you, an you in him, according to the grace of our God and the Lord Jesus Christ."

1st Support Goal - God Provided

   Throughout the past couple of years, God has been teaching me to trust Him with everything in my life, because my life is not my own. I gave up my life when I received God's precious gift in His Son dying for me, and His Spirit filled my life. My life is not my own, and while I daily struggle to die to myself,  I willingly do it everyday knowing that my God knows best for me. 
   
   I didn't expect to live my life the way I currently am. In fact, according to my plans, I would currently be on my way to being a high school math teacher and planning to marry a christian man who planned to be involved in the local church and the business world. I thought this plan would honor God, and I would live a good life. But that's just it, that was my plan, not God's. In fact, God had a different plan for my life, and I finally completely died to my own plans and fully surrendered to His in Summer 2011. I am not saying that I wasn't a christian before, because I have been a christian almost my entire life, but it was that summer when I finally understood that I was trying to live more for myself than for God. 

John 3:30
 "He must increase, but I must decrease."

   As I have drawn closer to God, his calling on my life has become quite clear. He desires for me to be in full time ministry and a missionary. My plans have crumbled, but I find joy in His plans. I can now see that His plan is the best plan, and I cannot wait to devote my entire life to telling others about His love for them. 

   Since I got involved in Cru, I have wanted to go on a summer project, but at first this did not seem to be possible. I got involved in Cru in fall 2011 when I transferred to Sac State. I was set to graduate from Sac State this spring which meant that I would only have one summer in my time at Sac State, and that summer was already taken by a planned extended trip to Germany to visit my sister and her family who are stationed there, so a summer project did not seem likely. I was bummed by this, but I trusted that someday I would get to experience something similar to a summer project. And sure enough, unfortunate circumstances resulted in me having to graduate one semester late. This was bittersweet news to me, but I was so excited because this news meant that I would hopefully get to go on a summer project!! 
  
   When I came back from Germany, I was fully intending to go on an international summer project; however, this past fall, when I started doing ministry on my campus, I felt an overwhelming calling to stay stateside for this coming summer. After weeks of prayer, I again gave up my plans for God's plans. He placed a passion on my heart to go to Ocean City, NJ.  This passion could only have come from Him, and I am so excited to go to Ocean City this summer! 

    God is proving to be faithful! My first support goal was to have $1,000 of my support raised by April 1st, and God has faithfully provided!! I am so grateful. Not only has He provided the goal of $1,000, but He has supplied $1,300!! My next goal is $2,500 by May 1st, and my final goal of $4,000 by the time I leave for project on May 28th. 

   This has been such a humbling experience. It brings me to my knees in thanksgiving for God's provision and in prayer for lives to be touched this summer.  I am so thankful that God has daily been teaching me to fully trust Him. I have no doubt that He will provide in amazing ways for this coming summer. This was His plan, not mine, and I know He will provide. Please keep Ocean City in your prayers and the team I will be going with as we follow God and trust Him to provide a way for us to get to Ocean City and faithfully obey His command to tell others the Good News! 

Philippians 4:19-20 
 "And my God will supply every need of yours according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus. To our God and Father be glory forever and ever. Amen."

   Here is a glimpse of the mission field I will be going to this summer. I pray God uses us this summer to expand His kingdom and that others can experience the amazing love that I daily get to experience. 

You're Involved in Cru?

   I recently sent out letters to family and friends asking for them to partner with me prayerfully and financially to go on a summer project with Cru, but while I gave them some details, I am sure many of them are wondering what exactly Cru is and how I got involved. Cru is short for Crusade and used to be called Campus Crusade for Christ. It is an international organization with many different ministries. I am involved with the college ministry. Cru is passionate about connecting others to Jesus Christ. They encourage boldness in your faith and to share what you believe with others. The college ministry of cru is on many college campuses throughout the nation and world. In the United States, typically Cru has a weekly meeting which usually contains a small talk and worship, small groups, discipleship, outreach, and fun events. It is a place where christians and non-christians can come together to talk about God, get to know each other, and have a whole bunch of fun.

   I got involved with Cru at Sac State when I transferred to Sac State as a Junior in Fall of 2011.  When I moved to Sacramento, I was planning on getting involved with a church college group, but a few weeks into my first semester, my roommate and friend, Cami said she was going to go check out Cru which was a christian organization at Sac State. I felt that I couldn't let her go alone so I decided to go with her, and I ended up falling in love with it. I got really involved really fast, and I made a lot of new friends. I was encouraged to grow in my walk with God, and to be more bold in my faith. I went to most of their events, weekly meeting, small group, and was able to be discipled. Here are some pictures of my time in Cru:

Fall Retreat 2011

Every year Cru does a fall retreat where students no matter their spiritual background are invited to get away from school for a weekend and have fun getting to know each other and learn about God in a fun, relaxing environment. 

Women's Dinner Fall 2011

Kami and Me at Crossroads Conference Fall 2011

Kami was an intern with Cru at Sac State. She committed a year of her life to work with Cru on the Sac State campus. Her full time job was to tell others about Jesus Christ, help run Cru at Sac State, and hang out with college students! Sounds awesome right?! Kami was also my small group leader, and she discipled me in fall 2011. She is a large part of the reason of how I got involved so quickly in Cru. She helped me through my hardest semester of college, and I will forever be grateful. Crossroads Conference is a conference put on by Cru in the Pacific Southwest Region (PSW for short which is California, Arizona, Hawaii, and South Nevada). Crossroads is a conference for juniors and seniors and helps them figure out what's next after college. 

Kevin and Me 

After one semester of involvement in Cru at Sac State, I was asked to join the leadership team for Spring 2012. I was blessed to be able to co-lead Prayer Team with Kevin Harris. We had an awesome team and were able to do some pretty cool events.

Spring 2012 80's Skate Night

Spring 2012 Buenos Aires Vision Tip 

All the students who went on the Buenos Aires Vision Trip

Shortly after being asked to join the lead team, I was invited to go to Buenos Aires, Argentina on a vision trip with four of Cru at Sac State's staff and five other student leaders. We went to Buenos Aires during our spring break to see if our campus could eventually form a partnership with Buenos Aires. By forming a partnership we would commit to send students on future summer projects and short term mission trips. Sadly, we won't be partnering with Buenos Aires, but it was a great trip, and it helped me figure out that I can see myself being a long term missionary.

Audrey and me on our way to see the Tango in Buenos Aires

Audrey has become one of my best friends, and she has really helped me grow in my relationship with God. She is graduating this May and plans to go to graduate school to be a speech pathologist. I love seeing how she truly trusts God for everything. 

Women's Retreat Spring 2012

Sarah and Me

Sarah started getting really involved in Cru in Spring 2012. She is now one of my roommates, and I love her a lot. She challenges me and grows me. Sarah went on a summer project to Santa Monica last summer with two other Sac State students, Cody and Mario. She is planning to intern with Cru at Sac State next year. It is amazing how God can move in people's lives, and Sarah exemplifies that for me.

Prayer team's last Prayer and Worship Night in Spring 2012

This was the last Prayer and Worship night of Spring 2012. Kevin and I were blessed to be able to lead an amazing team which helped put on a big event last spring where we joined several other colleges in a campaign to pray unceasingly for 40 days for college campuses in our nation. We had a 24 hour prayer event where we asked our campus the question, "What is your prayer for revival?" I have never seen so many people come out to a prayer and worship night, which is where we ended our 24 hour time. It was incredible and God was there.

Cru Houses 2012-2013

I was blessed to be able to live in the Cru girls house this last year. It was an amazing community of seven Godly women living together and using our house for ministry. 

Cody and Me 

This year I was blessed to be able to become part of Core team. Core team is a group of 7 students who lead and develop the Lead team. Cody is my ministry partner, and we coach men's/women's team, worship team, and prayer team. I also lead a small group for commuting women students and disciple a few women.

Audrey and Me having some fun at Core Retreat Summer 2012

Core Retreat was a time that the Core team got to have planning and praying for the year with our staff. After the Core Retreat, we were able to help lead the Lead Team Retreat and continue getting ready for the new school year. 

Fall 2012 a group of us helped move new freshmen into the dorms 

Fall 2012 Cru Hike in Auburn

Fall 2012 Cru Girl's House at the Root-beer Kegger

Fall 2012 First Home Football Game

Kaitlin and Me

Kaitlin went on a summer project last summer to Santa Monica with three Sac State students. She recently graduated from UCLA and is now part time field staff for Cru at UC Irvine. I was able to meet her in the fall when she came up to visit her Sac State project friends. She is now one of my closest friends, and she truly pushes me closer to God every day. Even though we didn't go to the same school, Cru and our love for the Lord brought us together and helped us form what I hope is a life long friendship.

Aubrey and Me

Aubrey is a sophomore at Sac State and one of my roommates. She is one of my closest friends, and she is going with me this summer to Ocean City! Without Cru, we probably never would have met.

Fall 2012 A bunch of Cru students celebrating Cody's birthday

We love celebrating each other's birthdays!!

Fall Retreat 2012

My Cabin at Fall Retreat

Fall 2012 Cru Halloween Party

Fall 2012 Cru Students at Chipotle on Halloween after our Weekly Meeting

Fall 2012 Playing a game called Assassins which is basically like a huge game of Cops and Robbers

Fall 2012 Cru students at Leatherby's after one of our events

Winter 2012 Cru Christmas Party

Christina and Me

Christina is one of our staff members. She has been my discipler for the last year. She meets with me every week one on one and teaches me more of what the Bible has to say and how to apply it to my life. She encourages me and holds me accountable. She also takes me out sharing on campus and challenges me to always be bold in sharing my faith. I love her so much!!

Nicole and Me

Nicole is one of the reasons why Cru exists. Nicole came to an outreach based Cru event in Spring 2012, and she kept asking questions. She is now a believer and on fire for God. I was able to go with her to Indy Greek Life Conference in February 2013. This is a conference in Indianapolis put on by Cru for Greek students. Nicole is another one of my close friends, and she inspired me to join a sorority. We are both hoping to someday start a Greek Life movement at Sac State.

Spring 2013 Sarah, Audrey, and Me in front of Cru at Sac State's Blue Like Jazz Outreach

The Staff challenged the Core team to create and fully run this years spring outreach. Sarah and Audrey  are the other two girls on Core team. As a Core team, we trusted God with enabling us to develop and execute an outreach that would get our campus talking, and He showed up! There were tough times, but God worked everything out. The outreach was based on the book and movie Blue Like Jazz by Donald Miller. We asked many students on our campus two questions: 1) How has religion messed you up? 2) How have you found God? These two questions sparked a lot of conversation about what each person believed spiritually. 

   So there you have it. These pictures show a summary of my experience in Cru. Two big events I left out were Crossroads Conference 2012 and Winter Conference 2012. I enjoyed both of them immensely. After each conference, I felt challenged and encouraged. They have definitely been highlights in my time in Cru. 

   Cru is a community passionate about telling others about Jesus Christ. We have a whole bunch of fun, and we love hanging out with each other! I have made so many new friends through Cru and many of them are the deepest friendships I have ever had and are most likely going to be lifelong friendships. Cru has helped deepen my passion to grow in my relationship with God, and I love that it goes farther than Sac State. It is international, and after two short years of being involved, I have friends all over the nation and in other parts of the world. I can't wait to experience summer project this summer in Ocean City, NJ. I feel like God is calling me to full time ministry/missions, and after I graduate in December 2013, I hope to join staff with Cru in January 2014!!