There is so much that God has taught me this summer, but perhaps the biggest thing is being willing to follow Him ANYWHERE! Am I really willing to give up ALL my desires For The Sake Of His Name? Am I willing to go where He sends me? Am I willing to leave my family, my dog, my friends, my comfort, and my deep desire for a husband and family? Am I willing to be tortured or even killed For The Sake Of His Name? Am I willing to obey His call on my life? WILL I GO?!
I think I have always wanted to say YES to these questions, but I couldn't fully do that until this summer. Before this summer, I was scared of death. I didn't desire my Savior enough! I was living for Christ but scared to meet Him! I asked God to help me defeat this fear, and He did. I now long to see my Savior more than I long for life! I can now think about death and not have mini panic attacks. Now I can honestly say YES I WILL DIE FOR MY SAVIOR because that means I get to see Him face to face! I can't wait to see Him! I can't wait to fall to the ground in complete surrender and worship of my AMAZING Heavenly Father!
Before this summer, I wanted to say yes I will go where God calls me, but I couldn't stand the thought of leaving for long term over seas missions because that would mean that I would miss my grandpa's last years on this earth, have to give up my dog who I love more than I should, and I would have to give up my longing and deep desire for a husband and family. As much as I wanted to give God all of these things, I was still too attached to this world. I had lost my eternal perspective. The reality is that there is a war going on right now; a war for people's souls. God will be victorious, but I need to fight! Isn't God worth me being single? Isn't God worth me giving up my dog? Isn't he worth me leaving my family in order to help bring more people into His family? Isn't He worth it?! Doesn't Jesus command us to "Leave the dead to bury their own dead. But as for you, go and proclaim the Kingdom of God." (Luke 9:60)? Everything I have in this life is not my own. Everything belongs to God! The reason I can breath is because of Him alone! So I HAVE DECIDED to give Him my ENTIRE life! Even if it means me being single! Even if it means me leaving a life of comfort! Even if it means me being tortured and persecuted! Even if it means my death! GOD IS WORTH IT!
So now here I sit, completely willing to GO WHEREVER my Father may send me. Yes, I still am a little scared, but I trust God more than life itself. He is my Abba, and I love Him more than I love anything or anyone else. I can't imagine life apart from Him. He is my life, and I WILL GO!
Here's the thing, this isn't the Laura story; it's the God story!!
God has used the song Oceans by Hillsong United to drastically change my life this summer. While worshipping during this song, I experienced a deep surrender that will forever change my life. Please listen to it and let the lyrics be the prayer of your heart:
This video is a Spoken Word that deeply impacted my life this summer, and I encourage everyone to watch it:
